You are already late. Your toddler grabs their shoe and says, "Me do it." Ten minutes later the shoe is on the wrong foot, and they still won't let you help. Below is why this happens, which small jobs you can hand them, and five picks from our own line for one of those jobs: packing and carrying their own things.
Why does my toddler want to do everything by themselves?
Your toddler is in the I-can-do-it-myself stage. You see it in everyday things: shoes, zippers, carrying their own stuff. They want to do them themselves, even when it takes longer and the result is not quite right. Your part is to give them a few real jobs they can almost manage, and keep your help for the rest. Two or three small jobs they do every day, the same way, are worth more than ten they try once and give up on. On a busy weekday morning, pick one job that can't make you late, like carrying their own backpack to the car. The slow jobs, like shoes and buckles, can wait for the weekend.
The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, describes this stage in its parenting tips about toddlers, 2 to 3 years old: "The 'terrible twos' is a term used to describe this stage as toddlers begin to assert their independence." Note the word "begin." They are only starting. Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, adds the other half on its page about toddler development at 2–3 years: "Around this time, toddlers are keen to do more things for themselves. But they're still learning, so you'll probably need to help." These pages describe a stage. If something about how your child is developing worries you, ask your pediatrician. They know your child.
The part that is yours is the choice of jobs. Pick something they can almost do, not something that ends in tears. If they can't open the milk yet, the milk is not their job. Carrying their cup to the table might be. Packing and carrying their own things is a good first job: their snack, their cup, a treasure from the park. They put them in, they zip the bag, they carry it. It matters even more if they have a big brother or sister. The older one packs a bag every morning, and the little one wants to do exactly the same. A big backpack bought to grow into can end up on your shoulder, and then the job is yours again. That is why the picks below are our small and mini backpacks, the right size for a child's little shoulders.
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The picks
1. Best for packing their own snack
Naturally KIDS Toddler Backpack with Plush Dinosaur Toy
Our small backpack with a removable plush T-Rex on the front. It has room for a snack and a treasure, which is the right amount for a first job. Padded, adjustable straps and an easy zipper small hands open on their own, so they can pack the bag and zip it themselves. When it needs a wash, you can machine wash the backpack in cold water on a gentle cycle.
2. If the unicorn is the favorite
Naturally KIDS Toddler Backpack with Plush Unicorn Toy
A small backpack with a plush unicorn on the front. Your child can take the unicorn out for a hug and put it back, then carry the bag on. It is a soft plush that stays soft and holds its shape hug after hug.
3. If they would rather have another animal
Naturally KIDS Toddler Backpack with Plush Giraffe Toy
Not every toddler wants a dinosaur or a unicorn. This small backpack has a removable plush giraffe on the front. Our small backpack also comes with a dog, a frog and other animals. See them all in our catalog of backpacks with plush animals.
4. If their favorite dinosaur is pink
Naturally KIDS Toddler Backpack with Plush Pink Triceratops Toy
A small backpack with a removable pink plush triceratops in soft corduroy. It has one main zip compartment, so everything they pack goes in one place. The bag is the right size for a child's little shoulders, so it stays on their back and the job stays theirs.
5. If they want a bag like the big kids, for one or two small things
Naturally KIDS Brown Dinosaur Mini Backpack
Our mini backpack with a plush T-Rex face. It is for a toddler who wants their own bag for a tissue, a little car or one favorite thing. It has one main compartment, two small velcro pockets on the outside and a name label inside. Padded, adjustable straps and a top handle let them wear it on their back or carry it by hand.
How to give a toddler real jobs
Here is how it looks in a normal week. Two of these steps follow public advice: Raising Children Network on helping, and the American Academy of Pediatrics on routines.
- Pick two or three jobs they can almost do. Keep them small and daily: carry their own snack, put their shoes by the door, open their own bag. If a job ends in tears each time, it is not their job yet.
- Keep the same jobs every day. Same job, same time, same place. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its tips on growing independence in young children, says: "Routines and responsibilities will let your child know what to expect."
- Help with the part they can't do yet. Raising Children Network says toddlers are still learning, "so you'll probably need to help." "Me do it" does not mean "you do nothing": they do what they can, and you finish the rest.
- Use the same words for the no. "That one's mine. This one's yours." It will not work each time, but it gives them a real yes next to the no.
- Give them one morning job that can't make you late. Carrying their backpack to the car is one example. They do it every day, the same way.
- Move the slow jobs to the weekend. Shoes and buckles take time. Leave them for a weekend morning when nobody is in a hurry.
Our backpacks fit steps 1 and 5: they pack their own snack, and they carry the bag to the car themselves.
What this means for your family
Your toddler wants to do it themselves because they are in the I-can-do-it-myself stage. They are only starting, and they still need your help. Give them two or three small jobs they can almost do, the same every day. Keep one for the morning that can't make you late, and move the slow ones to the weekend. The jobs matter more than the stuff. Packing their own bag is a good start, especially if they have a big brother or sister to copy. Pick a bag their size, not one to grow into. Our pick is the small backpack with a removable plush animal: they pack it, carry it to the car, and their animal comes along. We make these for children who want to carry their own things, and for the parents waiting for them at the door.
Sources
- CDC, the U.S. public health agency — Positive Parenting Tips: Toddlers (2–3 years old)
- Raising Children Network — Toddler development at 2-3 years
- American Academy of Pediatrics — Growing Independence: Tips for Parents of Young Children
Frequently asked questions
It holds snacks, a water bottle, wipes, a small toy, or a thin book, and a small lunchbox. It is deliberately toddler-sized — enough for a daycare day, not for school.
Yes. It's soft, lightweight, and comfortable for toddlers and little kids to wear. The adjustable straps help it fit as they grow, and the zipper is easy for little hands to zip and unzip on their own.
Yes. The plush animal sits on the front of the backpack, and your child can take it out for a hug and put it back. The backpack and the plush are both 100% polyester. The plush stays soft and holds its shape hug after hug.
Yes — it's machine washable in cold water, a lifesaver for toddlers and older kids. The removable plush toy stays soft and cuddly wash after wash, and the backpack holds its shape.
Yes. The small and medium Naturally KIDS backpacks with a removable plush, and the sets of a backpack with mini plush animals, arrive gift-ready in a kraft box. That makes two gifts in one box: a backpack and a plush friend. You can give the box as it comes, or wrap it.